One of my many eBay acquisitions when it comes to President Boner Adams was one of his many journals. To think such history as this is given away on eBay for a mere $8,400 dollars is a travesty, but I digress - now that I own such a piece of history, it is my responsibility and privilege to share it with all Boner enthusiasts.
An interesting except from the journal of Boner Adams, dated April 14, 1807:
The horseman’s boy gave me the eyes again today as I groomed
my steed for my rock load. He’s perceived by me to be of the
peculiar sort, but of what attention the boy requests of me I do
not know. I wonder if perhaps he is of the sort who prefers the
member of a man, rather than the soft touch of a woman’s
beard-lined womb opening. I shall be keeping an eye on him
for the moment, lest I become some kind of pattycake whose
chest provides the pillow for another fancy man’s weary head.
But onto another matter:
Again I spied that bastard Jackleton crossing my fence to pinch
at the teats of my cows, for his this season are giving sour milk.
Chased him I did with my musket aimed at his backside, and
surely he did flee in terror from my threats. “Get over yonder
to your own abode, posthaste!” I did shout to Jackleton. “Cross
that barrier again and I shall introduce you to my vengeful
God – personally!”
I see no further conflicts with my thieving neighbor, but I shall
keep you informed, my diary.
Mavis made mutton for dinner and I heaved it dryly in the
backyard near the pig pen. As the slave boy wiped off my
shoes, I wondered with irony if I might sometime soon be feasting
among the vile pig who so greedily slurped at my heavings.
Life is a pitiful, barren thing.
There is more to come, Boner fans!
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