A scary Ghoulaween to you, readers! As I fill my trick-r-treat baskets with rolled up Boner Adams fact sheets, my belly fills with the anticipation of another fun-filled night. My girlfriend Helena and I are skyping (whatever that is) and I have dug out all of my framed Boner photos and placed them around me (because he loved Halloween). Know how I know this? On Halloween of 1802, Boner dressed up as a Native American and said:
"The legend of All Hallows began with rape and it
will end there, this I do assure you. The Indian - the
beast of all men - savaged our lands and slapped
our women and threw our babies to the inferno. This
is why I institute 'Kill the Red Man Day' - for every
Indian hide you hang from your rooftops, I award you
a jar of my wife's fine paste.
Go forth, my brothers, and cleanse this land of all trogs!"
Boner's actions were sanctioned and he was fined three cows for his outspokenness, especially considering we were supposed to be playing nice with the natives at the time. You know, for stealing their land and all.
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