I voted for Ballot. Who did you vote for?
That was a joke I just did.
Elections are important, folks. More important than BSG or that series of moon craters which may or may not be a face. Elections determine which group of people are going to ruin our lives: the crazy, egg-sucking folks still trapped in the 18th century, or the groups of kids in adult-sized clothes who hide under their desks whenever someone speaks above a whisper.
I wish a certain Boner were still alive, because I would vote for him in a second. And I bet all you moderners think this is the first time healthcare has ever been as big an issue as it is now, but that's simply not true.
Why, as early as 1820, in his re-election campaign against Democrat Jammy James, Boner was quoted as saying:
"Should a man bleed from his face just because he has not
the gold nuggets in which to pay a slave to spit out some of
his magical voodoo slime? Should a woman bleed from her hair
hole because she has not the wooden coins in which to pay a
slave child to plug her up with some pulp grass, mystical rhymes,
and chives? Must we always use the same river in which to dispose our
deformed babies?
My fellow Americans, I dream of a place where fine, upstanding
citizens can receive free care from a doctor and his many leeches.
And I suppose the Negroes can go see the horse doctor for a mere shilling,
so long as they are back to prepare my yellow potatoes."
I hope you all make the right choice at the polls today, readers. I know I have. I voted for Boner (in my dreams).
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